On my way to work this morning I saw a lump of a squirrel on the road, preceded by a red smear. I felt sadness. A few minutes later I watched a squirrel scramble across my lane, then abruptly change directions as it reached the median, and begin to dash back toward the curb. I crunched my breaks, spilling the contents of the passenger seat all over the floor, then looked back in time to see him scampering up a tree. The guy in the car behind me probably was none too happy, but I will happily maim the front end of his car if it means I haven’t created another lump in the road. Conscience clear.