Fri 7 Jul 06

Ahhh… nothing refreshes like twelve solid hours of sleep. After falling asleep on the living room floor yesterday afternoon/evening, I lurched awake, stumbled to bed and proceeded to soundly sleep from 6 pm to 6 am today. Coming off of three days in which I slept a combined total of approximately six hours, it was long overdue. It’s good to have that mind sharpness back and to have a little more pop during my morning swim and to not have a cloud of grouchiness enveloping me and those in my cloud.

So, here’s that scoop. I am quitting my job, but at least with a modicum of professionalism. I had a few less heated talks with my boss and his boss and in the interest of fairness I offered to work until at least the end of this month. It is settled though and I feel good about the decision. Peaceful and good. I don’t know what’s next, but I’m ready for something new.

I was biking home from the pool (incidentally biking to work makes me immensely happy) this afternoon, mulling over my work situation and thinking about how good my legs felt while working hard and thinking about sleeping or not sleeping and how it affects everything and thinking about this song that I for the life of me can’t remember the name of the artist that I heard on WYCE the other day about “I want to be a man of consequence” or something like that and I really, really am ready for something new, challenging, and invigorating.

And really it can be anything for all I care. It can be learning to expertly whitewater kayak a class V rapid. Or learning to lead climb a mountain. Or becoming a world-class architect. Or becoming a Navy SEAL (this one crossed my mind as I thought about not sleeping under more intense circumstances). Or whatever. But I want to have to work for it, to earn my battle scars. And I want it to be something that most people can’t do and something that I can’t normally do half-heartedly (or even ninety-percent-heartedly). And I want it to be something that over time I am recognizably phenominally good at.

While I’m roughly on the subject I just read that during basic training Navy SEAL recruits swim 6 miles, run 15 miles, and perform over 150 pull-ups, 400 push-ups and 400 sit-ups daily. Pretty incredible.

I’m too indecisive and I make too many excuses. I write or think things, but there’s no follow through. I am one of those people that normally I would deride, telling them to just shut up and go do it then. The ties are being severed and the doors thrown open. When the house is sold the excuses are gone. Find something. Find something. Find something.

2 thoughts on “Fri 7 Jul 06

  1. paradroid

    the black 47s is the band i believe you’re thinking of. how’s that for a dangling participle, bitch?

  2. Josh

    Wrong. It was a song I heard on the way to St Johns I think about a week and a half ago. I checked through a bunch of wyce’s old playlists but couldn’t figure it out. So take your Black 47’s back to New York City. Stop dangling your participle. Gross.

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