Mon 7 Jan 08

The five d’s of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!

I joined a YMCA dodgeball league with eight other co-workers from work and tonight we played our first games of the season. We played two different teams (best of five match each) and split for the night. We won the first series 3 games to 1, then lost the second by the reverse count. I only got pegged twice, which I think was pretty good for seven games played (subbed out one game). Once on a glancing elbow shot. And once when I was the last man standing on our team against four. That game was a hoot, running around by myself dodging a flurry. I got ’em down to two when I drilled a guy, then leapt over return fire and in mid-air caught another throw from another guy. Then about two seconds later I couldn’t hang on to a throw I tried to catch. It was fun to be in fifth grade again.

Lance Armstrong: Hey, aren’t you Peter La Fleur?
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Ya, that’s me. But I’m a big fan of yours.
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Ya, I’ve been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can’t get enough of it. Good luck in the tournament. I’m really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you’re gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit… Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I’m sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that’s keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like… shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn’t anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I’m sure this decision won’t haunt you forever.

Brilliant!

3 thoughts on “Mon 7 Jan 08

  1. Josh Post author

    I think real dodgeball is just as ridiculous as the movie. That’s what makes it great. Absurdly unnecessary headbands. Overweight players careening and caterwauling around. Headshots and groinshots with no repurcussions.

  2. Jordan

    Wow, I’m jealous. Dodgeball was my main source of entertainment during fifth grade recess. Even during the winter, or if it rained, we’d set up a game in the basement of the school. But for some reason I remember that sixth graders weren’t allowed on that part of the playground anymore. Recess just wasn’t as fun anymore. Good times.

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